The Hows and The Heretofores
by smut1956
Summary: Matchmaking isn't what it's cracked up to be and things take an interesting turn.


CSI:NY and its characters are the property of Anthony Zuiker and CBS. No copyright infringement is intended.

The Hows and The Heretofores

It was impossible to say no to Sid Hammerback. That was the only explanation for agreeing to the fix-up. Except it would end up being fix-ups.

Sid approached Mac and Stella separately. Seems the medical examiner had run across the grown children of former neighbors. They were single and interesting people, at least to Sid.

Stella reluctantly agreed just to shut Sid up and to get him refocused on the body in front of them. Sid called out to her as she was leaving the post mortem, "I'll give him your cell number." Stella just waved him off and promptly forgot about it.

Mac never got a chance to protest or argue. Sid simply handed him a card with a phone number and told Mac to call the woman. Sid called it a personal favor and reminded Mac he rarely asked anything of him. Since Sid had pulled double shifts without a protest, Mac was backed into a corner.

As Mac left the morgue, he decided to call Rhonda or he knew he'd forget. She picked up on the first ring and seemed thrilled to hear from him. Before he knew it, Mac was agreeing to a double date with Rhonda and her younger brother, Ron at a German restaurant. They set it for the next night.

Mac felt a little bulldozed. He reassured himself it would be fine and the perfect way to unwind after a day testifying in court.

***

Stella was in a rush. She hated days when one of the team had to be in court especially when it was Mac. It just threw off the whole team's rhythm. The last thing she wanted was to go on a blind date. However, Stella was a woman of her word and would meet up with Ron at some German restaurant. He assured her they'd be well chaperoned because his sister would be there with a date.

The detective sighed. She was well past the age of double dating.

***

"Mac?"

"Stella?"

They simultaneously asked, "What are you doing here?"

The chorused reply, "I'm meeting someone."

Before they could say another word, two people approached them. Ron and Rhonda respectively recognized their dates from photos Sid had shared. The detectives were whisked to a table and confronted by a pair of siblings with deep family ties and very definite ideas on life. Neither had ever married, they'd lived with their parents until the parents' death. The brother and sister still shared that same house. Rhonda was the older of the two but deferred to Ron.

He'd ordered them both boilermakers from the bar. Stella stuck to a soft drink pleading being on call. Mac did the same citing an early court session the next morning. There was a polka band blaring oompah-pah music. Mac and Stella tried not to stare as their dates burst into song slamming beer steins on the table.

Ron took a break from that to comment on Stella's clothes. She wore a stylish, designer pair of pants with a blazer. He stated women shouldn't wear pants in public, especially on a date. Rhonda nodded in agreement.

Mac started to defend Stella. She was faster and informed the siblings in the most saccharine tone that skirts weren't practical at crime scenes. Ron appeared surprised to find out Stella was more than a secretary or errand girl in the NYPD. Rhonda spoke up before either of the detectives could correct that impression. She fluttered her eyes and the ruffles on her blouse at Mac proclaiming she knew how to dress in an appropriate manner.

Stella commented on how nice she looked again heading off Mac. Their waiter strolled up to the table clad in lederhosen, suspenders and alpine hat to hand out menus. Rhonda and Ron took that as a reason to order another round of boilermakers.

Mac began to imagine ways to murder Sid that wouldn't be detectable. The fleeting idea that time slowed down in relation to a misery index also crossed Mac's mind. He glanced at Stella in the hopes of finding commiseration in her green eyes. Instead, he saw Ron snaking a hand across the back of her chair. Mac's whole body tensed.

She didn't seem to notice Ron's advance. Stella was intent on the menu as she shifted side to side. She looked up at Mac. He was surprised to see her wink as she wondered, "What do you recommend?"

Before Ron and Rhonda could answer, Mac's phone vibrated. He grabbed for it automatically and noticed Stella making the same motion. He clicked on the display and saw a message: "S.O.S. gotta go."

Stella loudly sighed. "Oh, darn. I'm so sorry. It's work, there's an emergency and I did mention I'm on call. I have to leave."

Her gaze transferred to Mac, "You too? Must really be something big."

Ron sputtered, "But you're off duty."

Mac intoned seriously, "Police officers are never really off duty. Looks like duty calls. Let's go, Stella."

Rhonda protested, "We were just about to order."

"Mac and I have to go. You should both stay. Really, I insist." Stella was rising as she spoke and Mac reached over to pull out her chair noting that Ron didn't even stand up. Rude jerk flashed through Mac's mind. He swallowed his disdain pausing only to toss some money on the table for their drinks and offered a lame, "I'll tell Sid hello for you."

His partner smiled her most politest and said, "Enjoy your evening." She was three steps ahead of Mac as they rushed for the door without appearing to rush.

Once on the street Mac turned to her and started to speak. Stella interrupted, "Let's get down the street just in case."

He nodded dumbly and kept pace with her until they rounded a corner. "Mac, if you were having a wonderful time, I apologize and you can head back. Just tell them you weren't needed."

"You know me better than that, what do you think?"

"That there's a good chance Sid Hammerback will meet a creative and untimely demise."

"Now, you're talking." Mac glanced at his phone, "I take it this was a ruse."

"Yes." She paused, "If we'd ordered food, it would have been tougher to make an escape."

"Agreed. So Stella, how did you do it?"

"I'm not sure I should let you in on my secret."

"Consider me the soul of discretion." Mac smiled for the first time that evening because he enjoyed seeing the sparkle in her eyes and as always he was intrigued by the workings of her amazing mind.

"Whenever I am on a date, especially a first date -- I preset my phone." She could see the interest written all over his face, "If it's not going well, I just hit the send button and I'm offering apologies as I make my escape."

"Brilliant, diabolical and a little twisted."

"Thank you. It's simple self defense, first dates can be hell as we've just experienced first hand."

"How did you get the message to me, Stella?"

"I just piggybacked you onto my text in the confusion of the waiter passing out the menus."

Mac let loose a laugh, "Good thing for me you're not easily distracted by lederhosen."

"I'm made of tougher stuff." She was always pleased to see him relaxed and happy. "What do we tell Sid?"

He snaked an arm around her waist and started walking. "Let's discuss it over dinner. I'm starving."

"Sounds perfect. I think cheeseburgers."

"I know just the place." He gave her a curious glance, "Maybe I should confiscate your phone before it goes off and calls you away while we're eating."

It was Stella's turn to laugh. "Trust me, Mac, if it goes off it really will be work. That is the only thing that could keep me from a cheeseburger."

Mac led her to a place not far from his home. The burgers were juicy, hot and big enough that Stella couldn't finish. Mac polished off the rest of her burger after finishing his own. Their dinner conversation flowed easily. He talked about his day in court, she mentioned the day's events at the lab. Then they segued into current events, interesting books and happenings around town.

They both reached for the last French fry at the same time. Their fingers nearly touching, he protested, "You said you were full. That's why I finished your cheeseburger."

"I was full. But Mac, French fries don't count as real food and we split the basket."

"Your logic sometimes defies all rational thought." He let her have the last fry.

"As it should be." Stella's brow wrinkled as she saw Mac's eyes sweep the room. "What's up? More food?"

"This place is clearing out. I lost track of time."

"Me too." Her tone turned mischievous, "Mac, we probably have time to make it for last call and maybe a polka or two."

"Don't even joke. No, I think it's time to think dessert." Their server stopped with the check and Mac reached for it.

Stella argued, "You paid for the drinks with the scary siblings. I can get this."

"No."

"We can split it."

"No."

"At least let me leave the tip."

"No." He heard her muttering in Greek as he handled the bill. "Even without a translation, I take it you're not pleased."

"Mac, I am used to pulling my own weight."

"Tell me something I don't know." He glanced at his watch, "You can buy dessert."

"Dessert? That's the second time you've brought it up. No wonder you swim every day."

"I don't worry about calories as much as just trying to drop the exhaustion and tension that dog us."

"That physique is just a side benefit then. Nice."

It was Mac's turn to mutter. He was more embarrassed than annoyed. He inclined his head toward the front door.

Stella stayed put, "Uh-uh, first, the plan. In case you haven't noticed, looks like a change in the weather is imminent. I've noticed the wind picking up." She pointed out, "We don't have umbrellas. Are we stopping at the nearest bodega to get you a pint of ice cream to take home?"

"Stella, please. I have more imagination than that. There's a bakery near my place that ought to be rolling out the fresh baked doughnuts about now."

"Hot doughnuts? Oh, God. I'll be joining you for that swim tomorrow. Let's move it." She was dashing out the door and reached back for his hand. Her laughter spurred him on to pull her in the direction of the bakery.

"You've been holding out on me, Mac. You've never mentioned a bakery that caters to our hours."

"I discovered it purely by accident one night coming back from a shift."

"Never said anything when I gave you a late night ride."

"I plead the fifth." He glanced skyward. Clouds now covered the stars they'd admired on their way into dinner. The rustling wind stirred trash in the streets, leaves and Stella's beautiful hair. "Might rain."

She tucked her hand into his arm. "It will."

He raised an eyebrow. The gesture was so familiar to Stella. It was an extension of Mac's voice and she continued. "You can smell it, rain is definitely in the air."

"Very unscientific for a scientist." He started to indicate their destination as they came to a crosswalk.

Then, Stella moaned. He glanced quickly to see what was wrong. Obviously nothing, she'd closed her eyes and crinkled her nose. "Mac, that smell. Oh God."

Everything inside him tightened at her tone and expression. Mac worked very hard to ignore Stella's beauty and vivacious approach to life. It was a lost cause at this moment. He held her back to make sure it was safe to cross the street. She rolled her eyes at him and tucked her hand a little tighter into his arm as they navigated the intersection.

They reached for the door handle at the same time and Stella felt that lovely jolt of connectivity. This man was her anchor in life, no matter what.

The smell in the bakery was even more glorious inside than what wafted around the neighborhood. About a half dozen people waited ahead of them. Stella eyed all the cases and whispered, "I can smell them but don't see them."

Mac indicated tall racks being wheeled out holding trays. She nodded and checked out the offerings available. One of the bakers bringing out trays broke into a grin, "Hey, Mr. Mac – good to see you." The baker nudged one of his coworkers when they saw Stella standing next to him, "Hey is this your lady? You gonna buy more than one doughnut tonight. She's a looker, good for you."

Mac's face flushed and he opted just to nod. Stella had mischief on her mind. "Did he say I was a hooker or a looker?"

"Stella."

She laughed at his discomfort."You really only buy one doughnut? Not tonight."

"They're big and filling."

"Whatever. I'm a team player."

"Meaning?"

"You'll see." It was their turn and she offered the baker a dazzling smile. "Mac's secret is out. I may have to move in here. I'm already addicted to the smell and the ambiance."

Mac watched with pride as she charmed everyone in the place and purchased two dozen doughnuts and a half dozen giant chocolate chip cookies. Then she turned to him, "How many for now?"

"One for me."

Stella overruled him, "Oh, please. Four for us now. Mace tells me they're not only delicious, you take out all the calories."

He didn't know how she did it but within seconds all the workers were out to meet her and inviting her to come back on her day off to watch them bake. He saw her start to pull out her cash and Mac opened his mouth to protest as did the workers. She simply smiled, "If I pay, Mac will feel like he needs to bring me back again so he can pay next time. And all of you will let me sample everything when I come back to learn the secrets of your bakery."

That did it.

Mac left his wallet alone as all the crew implored him to bring the pretty lady back soon. He vaguely promised something as he picked up her shopping bag leaving Stella to take the smaller bag holding their dessert.

A large gust of wind blew in with a new crowd of people. Mac looked skyward as Stella started her stroll as if it were the middle of the day not the dark of past midnight. "I shouldn't be the least amazed any more."

"About what , Mac?"

"You. I think your lethal weapon is your charm not your gun."

"Easy to be charming when you take me to some place like that." She patted her side where her gun sat in its holster. "Other places we go, this is more effective."

Lightning flashed and thunder roared overhead before he could answer. Mac ordered, "Let's see if we can get a move on and beat this."

She nodded and they picked up the pace. The approaching storm did the same and rain began to pelt down. The streets weren't crowded however, people started a frantic search for shelter.

Mac pulled Stella into an awning covered entranceway for a closed store. They weren't the only ones with the same idea and soon people were packed in together. The crush of people jostled them around until they ended up facing each other. Stella laughed, "Just hold on to the treats. I have my bag accounted for."

She looks beautiful was the only thought in his head. He loved how the droplets sparkled in her hair making the gleam in her eye more pronounced and letting joy and life burst from her. The next wave of people trying to find shelter pushed him right against her. He braced a hand behind her to give them some space.

Stella had other ideas leaning into him. "God, is it you that smells luscious or the doughnuts?"

She'd left him nonplussed, not uncommon for her and for some reason in this case not uncomfortable for him. Her smiling lips made Mac suddenly hungry for something sweeter than the contents of the bakery boxes. He saw an awareness in Stella's eyes. "I say we forgo being sardines for a rainy run to your place."

Mac could only nod. He found her hand and eased them out of the sheltered crowd. They took off at a run and she managed to keep up with him in her totally unsensible shoes. The half block to his place seemed longer. They ended up drenched by the time they reached Mac's building.

Stella looked around, "Should I get a cab?"

"A cab?" The thought of her leaving put him into a slight state of panic. "You'll never get a cab in this. Besides, we have to have dessert while it's still fresh and warm."

Before she could agree or disagree, Mac was pulling her through the door. She giggled and stopped him in the entryway. "My shoes need to come off or I'll squish out enough water to drown us." She slipped them off and waited for him to lead them to his apartment. Once inside they instinctively trooped to the kitchen.

Mac unloaded her boxes from the shopping bag and cautioned, "Make sure you leave those little vents open on the boxes or your bakery will get soggy." Stella cocked her head at him until he admitted, "I learned the hard way."

"Okay, I'll take care of that though our team would probably eat them soggy, stale and hard as a rock."

"They might draw the line at moldy."

"Honestly Mac, that would depend on the day of the week and the coworker. While I take care of that, you put ours out."

Mac reached for a plate. "Would you like coffee or wine or something else?"

"You're kidding right? Mac, warm doughnuts and oversize chocolate chip cookies equal one possible drink. Ice cold milk, please."

"Perfect choice." He paused, "Maybe we should towel off first."

"Fair point."She took off her blazer and hung it on the back of a kitchen chair. She removed her gun and holster before automatically reaching into her blazer pocket for her phone. Mac returned with a towel in one hand and his phone in the other. Stella noticed he'd dried off and shed his shoes, suit coat and gun.

She tore her eyes away from him to look at her phone's display and announced, "I have a call from Rhonda."

Mac shook his head, "I have one from Ron."

"Strange and stranger."

He agreed with Stella's assessment and said, "Ladies first."

Stella listened to the message and cracked up, "You have to hear this." She held the phone up between them and hit play. The message was terse. It seems Stella wouldn't be hearing from Ron. Rhonda was sorry but her younger brother wanted a more traditional and feminine woman in his life.

Mac was stunned at the ignorance and rudeness of Stella's date. Before Mac could say a word Stella urged him to check his message. Ron was calling because his sister would never call a man. Ron thanked Mac for meeting them but felt he wasn't attentive enough to Rhonda and too involved with his work for a secure home life. On Mac's gesture, Stella leaned in to hear the message replayed. After he clicked off the phone and rolled his eyes.

Stella took the towel from him. Instead of drying off, she used it to stifle her laughter.

"Want to share the joke?"

"Mac, he is right in a way about you being involved in work and she's right about me being nontraditional."

"Okay."

"Besides, it's a first for me. I've never been dumped by a sibling of a date."

"Same for me. This proves how moronic he is—you are incredibly feminine and traditional in all the right ways."

She stopped laughing. "Mac, thank you so much. How lovely."

He took the towel from Stella. He dabbed gently at the dampness on her face and hair. "You're the lovely one, the only person who can look even more amazing soaked by the rain."

"Mac…"The lightning flashed outside and she caught her breath. Mac stole the rest of it away by yanking her to him and covering her lips with his.

It had taken forever for him to make this move. Now that he'd had a taste of the sweet and spicy essence of Stella Bonasera, he didn't think he could ever live without it. But Mac was still cautious. He pulled back slightly and opened his mouth to speak. She put her fingers on his lips and warned, "If you apologize, I'm getting my gun."

"Yes, ma'am."

"McCanna Boyd Taylor, you really can kiss. Do it again."

He grinned at the commanding tone in her voice contrasted with the dreamy look in her eyes. "Glad to oblige." This time he started in a tender manner and warmed quickly to passionate.

Stella pushed him back a step but kept her hand on his chest. "Were these pity kisses?"

"What is a pity kiss?'

"You know, you're trying to prop me up after being dumped tonight by my blind date's sister."

"I see. Using that twisted reasoning, I'm assuaging my loser status by kissing you."

"Guess so." She smiled, "How's it going?"

"Pretty damn good." He reluctantly turned toward the kitchen. "Doughnuts and milk await."

"Mac…"

"They're not going to be warm and fresh much longer."

"I'm sure they'd be just as good cold and stale in the morning."

Her words stopped him dead, "Stella?"

"You can't send me out into the rain and I've waited too long to satisfy my Big Mac craving."

God she was good for his ego. "Okay, we split one doughnut before a memorable Big Mac attack." His hand moved through her damp hair in anticipation of when he'd be moving with her in a whole new and different way.

They split a warm doughnut and her moan of pleasure once again shot right to his groin. This time the lust wouldn't die in frustration. She tempted him with half of a cookie to finish the milk. While he rinsed out the glasses she moved behind him to unbutton his shirt and savor the feel of his chest. He growled out, "Watch out, my turn next."

"You have a head start." Her voice had gone lower and when Mac turned he saw she'd already stripped down to lacy lingerie covered only with her unbuttoned blouse. "Damn woman, you are breathtaking."

He scooped her up and took her to his bed. Mac's head swam with desire and longing. It drowned out any of his usual doubts and misgivings about allowing joy into his life.

When he'd experienced what it was like to fill her and drive them both to mutual pleasure, Mac was stunned by the depth of peace that seized him. Stella wound herself around him and held him murmuring phrases in Greek that needed no translating to convey passion and contentment.

He couldn't believe he was nervous when their heartbeats slowed and breathing rates eased out. "Stella?"

"Yes, Mac."

"Were you serious about the doughnuts?"

"Try to get rid of me. I don't think my craving for what I now know truly is Big Mac has been satisfied."

He squirmed uncomfortably at her compliment. "First one awake in the morning makes coffee."

"Define morning, is it when we wake up or when the alarm goes off? I might wake up during the night and need something other than coffee."

"Oh, God, this might be heaven. We'll say the first one stirring when the alarm goes off makes the coffee."

Stella smiled sleepily, "Got it."

He could feel her relaxing as she burrowed deeper into his bed. Mac felt himself easing into the rhythm of sleep as he enjoyed the warmth of Stella's body close by.

"Mac, what are we going to tell Sid about our dates?"

Her voice slurred into sleep. Mac's eyes snapped open as he wondered what tonight would mean tomorrow.

***

The End

**A/N: I guess this is sort of a prequel to The Why and The Wherefores. After I wrote that, I started wondering how Mac and Stella got there and this popped into my head.**


End file.
